Potty Humor Gone Too Far!?

It is amazing how topics of conversations change as we have children. The things parents of young children talk about would be shocking to many non-parents. For example, bodily functions...namely pooping. It has become a very important and often talked about event in our house...even over dinner or on the phone with friends. I am constantly thinking about it and trying to keep track of it. Every day I ask myself...

Did Aiden poop? Did Maverick poop? How many times has Griffin pooped?
Where did they poop? Did they wipe (and where)? Did they flush? Did they wash their hands?
Did they get any anywhere (because diapers and pull-ups are NOT leak proof)?

I spend time sitting in the bathroom with Maverick trying to convince him to poop on the potty. We read books about pooping (thanks Uncle George). I pretend to poop to get Maverick to try while sitting on the toilet. We push and grunt and get excited about farting noises echoing in the bowl of the toilet. We have little potty's and big potty's and potty seats to make the big potty have a smaller hole so little butts don't fall in. We reward pooping in the potty with candy...often hershey kisses.

We also consider consistency and Maverick is very interested in the color of his poop so I often must describe it in detail while cleaning him up. He also is always quick to point out as I am wiping his butt that "We don't eat "fill in color" poop." I am glad that he reminds me.

Maverick has also started picking random things up in the yard, bringing them to me and asking..."Is this poop?" My response is usually, "No, but if you think something may be poop...PLEASE do NOT pick it up!!!"

Our newest poop adventure is Griffin. He has not pooped since Thursday. So today is day 6 with no poop. Now we are going to the chiropractor to try to make him poop. I am doing belly massage per Dr. Bloomburg's instruction, and he gets adjusted and acupressure at the chiropractor again today. Dr. Bloomburg told me to expect poop sometime yesterday after his appointment...but, alas, no poop from him...Aiden and Maverick both pooped (I must keep track you know). So today I called the pediatrician's office and was given more instructions. He is supposed to drink 3 oz of pedialyte a day. I tried that...but he hasn't learned how to use a cup well so he just became a red sticky mess and the stuff tastes nasty anyway. And he has never had a bottle and I don't have any "in" slots. AND I am supposed to do rectal stimulation...yes you read that right. I am supposed to use my finger and a washcloth and (in the nurse's words) "gently massage in the anal area." Isn't that just lovely?!?! And you know what...I am so desperate for the kid to just poop that I tried it. Still no luck!

So...I guess I have several more years of keeping track of the pooping habits of several little boys in my house. Shane is on his own on this one. I can't be held responsible. And potty humor will continue to be a big portion of my life. If you aren't a parent you may not understand this...if you are then likely this is a big part of your life too. Either way...healthy pooping habits make for a happier household. When the baby hasn't pooped for nearly a week...NOBODY is happy!

Chicks Dig Me!!

Our new baby chicks are growing by the day. They are getting bigger and bigger and it is hard to imagine that they are only 10 days old. Last night we went down and took some pictures with the boys...Griffin mostly. He got a onesie that says "Chicks Dig Me" so we just had to take pictures. The onesie for him came with a "scrapbook sized onesie" so I had to get a good picture to do the page. In a bigger picture the words on his onesie show up really well.






The sad part is that the onesie is sized up to 9 months and is short sleeved so I was saving it for the summer. He is so big that he will probably never wear it again. It would hardly snap last night.

I wasn't sure how he would do in a metal wash tub with a chicken but he did great. Lots of smiles and no squeezing of the chick. He did make a grumpy face at one point. I don't think it was in response to the chick pooping on his pantleg...but maybe. He did such a great job.





Aiden and Maverick were not dressed for photos (obviously) but I thought I would get a few of them playing with the chicks. Aiden loved holding his very nicely in his lap. The chick was clucking and squaking and making quite a racket but Aiden was very gentle and nice.

Maverick would NOT hold the chick and could not be convinced to try it. He just wanted to "pet" it and did that only with 1 finger. Maybe that is a blessing. He would be the most likely to squeeze it. They are all so cute. Boys and chicks alike!!

Updates on Everyone!

It ahs been a little while since I've posted. Shane was gone for 5 days turkey hunting in Southern Illinois with my dad. They had fun and some near misses. Dad got a turkey but Shane did not. They almost ended up in the line of fire of some other hunters that they accidentally sneaked up on and dad tried "Dave's Insanity Sauce"...only it wasn't BBQ and he shouldn't have covered his sandwich with it. They got home yesterday safe, sound, and only slightly smelly.

Aiden got his new glasses on Friday. It made him look 5 years older it seems. He is adjusting very well and likes wearing them. Right now he is working up to wearing them all day. He wears them most of the time and even when he wants to take them off...he gets them again in an hour or so. I'll post a picture as soon as I get a good one.

Maverick wants glasses too. So he has taken to wearing sunglasses (Lightning McQueen, no less) around the house. He has played video games, eaten meals and done just about everything in those glasses. He doesn't wear them ALL the time though.

Griffin tried a new food on Saturday....butternut squash. He liked it too. So far we are 3 for 4. Oatmeal isn't his favorite now that he has tried soe mother things...but once I can mix some bananas or apples in I have a feeling that will change.

We also got a new pet. This is round 2. Aiden and Maverick wanted fish. I figured, as far as pets go, a fish has to be pretty easy. So a few weekends ago we got 3 little fish to put in our 1 gallon aquarium. They were dead within the hour of bringing them home. I think the fact that the aquarium was foaming (think baking soda and vinegar volcano) may have been a contributing factor. So I got the aquarium going again and when we picked up Aiden's glasses he got to pick out a new fish. The guy that helped us seemed to know something about fish and we picked a different kind. He described this one as "hardy." That is my kind of fish! And we have kept him alive for 3 days now. The boys take turns feeding him in the morning with a lot of assistance from me. And I think I have convinced Maverick that the fish (whose name is Dorothy like Elmo's pet fish) does NOT want fruit loops after digging one out the first day.

So, that is what is going on around here. I'll get some good pictures again soon.

Blow Out Baby!

Griffin has been eating some vegetables every day. He loves them and is doing so well with them. The downside is that he hasn't pooped since Monday. So yesterday (Wednesday) I didn't give him any veggies but only nursed him. OK, I know that veggies are high in fiber and all but compared to breast milk and a totally liquid diet they are really solid...even the pureed kind. So, anyway, this morning I picked Griffin up and was gathering some things from one room to take into another room and I thought "what is that smell?" For some reason, the thought that it may be Griffin did not occur to me. So I kept going. Then I looked down and saw the orange streak on my arm...yes orange. For those who don't have little ones...the veggies come out virtually the same color as they go in. So...sweet potatoes + carrots= ORANGE poop! And it stinks MUCH worse than breast milk poop which is actually not bad at all. He had blown poop up his back to his shoulder blades and out both leg holes of his diaper. I guess it is also important to mention that although the poop changes color with orange veggies...it doesn't really change in consistency...it is really really "loose." It is a lot like bright orange liquid. I think he feels better. He has since blown it all up his back again. Now he is sleeping! All that work wore him out!

In honor of the morning, my friend, Amy, sent me this email...quite funny!


(This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

'Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard..

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys act; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . 'Poupon.'

Springtime Fun!

We spent time outside this morning before Daddy left for turkey camp. It is a beautiful day and we all had a great time together. These are some pictures of the good times!

Milestones!!

Griffin is just getting bigger and bigger. Today I gave him pureed carrots for lunch for the first time. He has had oatmeal and sweet potatoes already. He absolutely loved the carrots. A part of me thought that he might turn his nose up at carrots to start with simply because they are different...but no. He ate quite a bit. Yeah! I hope all new foods go that easily....but I am not holding my breath.

Then after lunch he was playing on the living room floor while I was folding laundry and he almost got up on all fours. He was pulling his fat little legs under him and trying to get on his knees...but he didn't quite make it. It is definitely coming in the hear future though. YIKES!! After that comes crawling. I have to get this house straightened up and keep it clean. He'll be into everything.

Two nights ago he even slept ALL night. He ate and went down at about 9 and didn't get up until 7. Yippee! I actually woke up at 6 in a panic and had to go check and make sure he was still breathing. Last night he got up at his normal middle of the night time. I tried letting him just lay there and go back to sleep but he was getting more agitated each minute. So I had to get him. Maybe tonight he'll sleep all through.

This week all the boys really seem to be growing up. It is a little bittersweet. Aiden is getting glasses and looks like such a little man in them. Maverick is just Maverick and getting bigger and using bigger words and all that he does. And Griffin is growing and getting ready to be mobile. I guess it's true that time flies when you are having fun!

Glasses!

Well, the last few days we have noticed a problem with Aiden's eyes. Mainly his left eye has been going crossed. It gets really bad in the evenings and he says it hurts and is causing him a lot of grief. This morning I called the pediatrician to get a referral to an eye doctor. She wanted to see him first so we had an appointment with her this afternoon. She checked him out and said that this could be caused by a neurologic problem but that he checked out in that area. She referred us to an eye doctor and got us "right in."

So we drove over and waited FOREVER! But we were finally seen and the eye doctor said that he is far sighted. I don't fully understand but a child isn't near or far sighted like an adult. He can see in both areas but is having to work extra hard at both. His eyes are trained to really focus to see far then when that "focusing system" gets tired at the end of the day or he tries to focus on something close (like a book) his focusing system overworks and makes his eyes cross. She did say that it looks like we caught it early and that is good because if it is allowed to go on for while that eye can "give up" and become lazy.

The doctor dialated his eyes to get his prescription right. Then she checked again and gave him a prescription for glasses. We picked out a pair and they will be ready to pick up in a week. He wanted red ones...but we found a nice pair that are "gun metal." He looks so grown up and is so cute.

He was such a big boy the whole day. At the pediatrician he had to do all kinds of things to make sure he was doing good. He had to jump on one foot and flex his muscles and do all kinds of stuff. He listened and followed directions so well. Then at the eye doctor he had to read his letters and numbers and follow directions and then pick which prescription was better and he did. I think the eye doctor was really impressed. He was so tired and just ready to fall asleep I think. He is such a big boy! Maverick and Griffin were along for the ride and no one got naps and we still had an alright day. It was LONG but pretty good. We were in doctors's offices for 5 hours.

So now it is 7:40 and we just got home. I am exhausted and the boys are too. So off to relax until we can crawl into bed and collapse!!!

What a Day!

Well, I had an early start this morning when, at about 4:40, I woke to an earthquake shaking our house. It was crazy and a little scary. It was centered south of us with a force of 5.2. There were apparently several more aftershocks with another strong tremor around 10:30am. This is just not something we expereience here in Illinois. Luckily, there was no damage here and, from what I heard on the news, very little damage elsewhere. And no injuries. It is just a little wild to think that this morning I was awoken by an earthquake. The rest of the day was so "normal."

The boys and I went to Oblong today and met my friend Cherish and her little girl Starr at Ag Day. We saw animals and the boys sat on tractors and we did little science experiements with help from FFA students at the high school. We got to see a helicopter land and take off (and land again) during a mock incident. (It was the lifeline helicopter.) We stayed far enough back to not see the incident because we didn't want to scare the kids. It was just an all around fun "field trip."

After nap time we ran to town to get seed potatoes, seed onions and carrots and lettuce seeds to put in our garden. Pappy got the ground all ready for us with his new tractor and it is raining overnight tonight so I wanted to get them planted. I got the potatoes and onions in before it started raining. Oh well, maybe I'll be able to get the rest in sometime in the next week.

And we went down to Nanny and Pappy's house tonight. Our baby chicks came in today and they are SO sweet. We weren't allowed to touch them today but tomorrow we will go down and get some pictures with the boys and them. I can't wait to have fresh eggs.

The night ended with a story I don't know all of...yet. All I know is that all three boys (Aiden, Maverick and Shane) were going to the bathroom before bed. And I heard the word "penis" several times. It should be a story worth hearing...I may or may not tell it. I don't have an adult material warning on my blog. lol

Go Fly A Kite!

That's what we did this morning. I didn't get any pictures cause I had to keep the thing up in the air but we had such a wonderful morning. We spent all kinds of time playing outside and then went across the road and away from trees and power lines to fly our new kite that we got for Easter. It was SO much fun!! The boys thought it was so cool to watch the kite fly high in the air and they thought it was so funny when it crashed into the ground. Our kite flying was cut short though when Griffin had enough of the wind and starting crying. Oh well, we'll go back out on another windy Spring day!

Aiden made me proud today. He and Maverick were finishing breakfast and had bananas and mugs of milk. I heard him say...Maverick it's a pattern....banana peel, mug, banana peel, mug. I went in and asked what came next and he said banana peel. I know it isn't a totally big deal but we don't work on patterns that much and he is making his own and doing a good job! So cool!

And Griffin is really getting mobile. He is not crawling and isn't even getting up on all fours but he gets on his belly...he is rolling both ways now...and scoots himself around. Sometimes he hits the target he is aiming for and other times...not so much. It is just that he is moving. All of us are going to have to start to remember to not put things on the floor. I layed him down last night and set my new Simple and Delicious down and then went to get a drink. When I got back he was eating my magazine. He is so big!!

Well, that's all for today and I hear Griffin awake in his room. We have just had a great day!!

Peer Pressure Already?!?! and exciting news!!

We have some very good friends whose 2 year old has a "problem." He does not see it as a problem exactly but his parents do. You may ask what kind of problem could a 2 year old have. Well, he doesn't like pooping in his diaper anymore. So he takes it off, poops on the floor, and then scoots his butt on the carpet till it is "wiped" clean. Needless to say his mother is NOT pleased and is getting tired of using the carpet steamer.

So Maverick has been playing with this little boy (whose name I am not mentioning even though many of you will be able to figure it out). And today I heard this from the family room while I was nursing Griffin and getting him down for his nap.

Aiden: Maverick don't do that.
Maverick: But it's poopy.
Me (calmly and still nursing): What is going on?
Aiden: Maverick pooped in his pants.
Me: Maverick, come in here please.
Aiden: He's taking his pull-up off.
Me: MAVERICK GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
Aiden: But he doesn't have his pullup on anymore.

I jumped out of my chair, horribly interrupting Griffin's before nap snack and waking him up. I run into the family room where I see Maverick squatting to sit on the carpet with his poopy bare butt.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I "plunk" Griffin on the floor, which causes him great stress and makes him mad and starts the crying. And grab Maverick before the poop hits the carpet. While Griffin is crying, I clean Maverick up, sit him on the toilet where he promptly begins crying because he doesn't want to poop on the potty. I get the poopy pull-up from the family room to throw it away where it belongs. Then I get Maverick dressed again...and get Griffin settled down for a nap. Whew! What an exciting way to start nap time.

So Maverick is already picking up bad, dirty habits from his friends. And I don't know how. He hasn't seen his friend do this (unless I have not found the skid marks on my carpet somewhere) and I am sure his friend isn't old enough to "brag" about it...so how do these habits spread? I just hope they both start using the potty sooner rather than later...for the sake of everyone's sanity.

AND...I just went in to get Griffin from his crib and he was on his belly. Which means he rolled from back to belly for the first time! He hasn't ever made it before!! Yeah!! Maybe I'll get it on video soon and can learn how to share a video! He is such a big boy!

To be Six Again!

I got this from Shane in my email this morning! Made me smile!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy , M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again??' Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you idiot!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.

Cry me a River!

So have you ever a couple of days that just wear you out and make you wish for a break from life!?!?! That's the way my days have been going.

It started at church Wednesday night with a situation that made me very uncomfortable. I can't go into detail but a new person came to church for questionable reasons. He is interested in sign language but there seems to be more behind the story. He made me very uneasy and seems to be ready to become a "barnacle" (thanks for the great description Cherish). I think the situation is being taken care of but it was NOT a good night at church.

Now Aiden is sick. He was up in the middle of the night the other night coughing and having trouble breathing. We called the hospital and were able to follow their directions and get him calmed down and avoid the ER. We took him to see his pediatrician and now he is on a high powered antibiotic and steroids. Let me tell you, that does not do anything for a kid's behavior. He is wearing me out.

The house has been a disaster for the last few days and I just can't handle it anymore. But I feel like I work on it and work on it and it never improves...like I am trying to dig a big hole and the sides keep caving in and filling it back up. Shane has been a huge help today but even with all the work we've done...I feel like we are still way behind!

Last night I decided to steam some carrots to make Griffin some baby food. He has only had cereal but is ready to try a veggie. So I got it going...and forgot about it. BOY, did that stink up the whole house. And we just avoided a kitchen fire. When I remember (from the horrible smell) there were actually red coal like things burning inside the pan. So I threw all that out and made him a sweet potato this morning...in the microwave. No house fires today!

And I just want to be outside working in the yard and getting a garden ready...but it is like 42 degrees and windy and nasty and has been raining off and on all week. We would have to plant rice if we were going to plant anything. The gray, wet, windy, rainy and cold days aren't helping my mental state any.

So that is my happy little post. Hope you're having a good day!

Some Random Thoughts from Me!

So, I have been trying to make this blog 3 columns wide. It has not gone well as you can probably tell since it is still just 2 columns wide. This really isn't that important except that I have seen some that are 3 columns and I like them...and I feel like the computer is insulting me because I can't get the stinkin' thing to do it. I used the "help" tab and followed the directions of some guy named Vin. It didn't work. What made me feel SO much better is the glowing replies at the bottom of his directions from other users. Things like "Your directions are so clear that even I could get it to work and I'm a computer idiot!" So, for now I am giving up and will just stick with 2 columns. You would think that I might know someone who would have the skills to get the change done...but there have been no volunteers!

And I ordered the Weaver Interlock used from a lady I met online and got it in the mail today. What on earth is the Weaver Interlock you may ask? Well, I'll tell you. It is a pre-K or Kindergarten homeschool curriculum. It teaches more than one student on more than one level all subjects centered around Genesis 1-10. I am so excited!! It has a lot of hands on projects and activities that totally excited me. We won't be starting it until fall since the summer is so busy and I need time to go through it, figure it out, and prepare. I am just so excited!! After we finish the Interlock (considering that we like it and it works for us) we will be continuing with The Weaver Curriculum for the younger grades! Did I mention that I am so excited!?!?!?!?!?

The Power to Read!!!

Aiden has been working on his "power to read" for a while now. We have done 11 lessons in the book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." I wasn't sure if I would like the book but I found it at a yard sale and decided to try it. He is doing so well!! Last week I ordered the first set of "BOB books" and they came today. I think they would be more accurately described as pamphlets...But Aiden read 2 of them and that is what really matters. He felt the joy of success!!! His eyes just lit up when he read the whole first book. He begged to read the next one and although we haven't covered all the sounds in our lessons we tried and he could read it too. Such a proud mom moment!!!! And a little sad...he is getting so big! I think as soon as Aiden is pretty secure, I'll be starting with Maverick. I "caught" him accurately sounding out some words too. He is just too smart for his own good! I just love getting to teach them these things. And I love the idea that I will get to see their eyes light up from learning something new for years to come!!!

Chicken Coop!

We have been working on the chicken coop for the last 2 weekends...well, mostly Shane has been working on it with help from my dad. Anyway, it is getting close to finished. It still needs a roof and a "front" door. The "egg door" in back and the door to the nesting area need to be attached, yet. And some other "little" things to finish it up. But I am VERY pleased with how it has turned out. We have nesting boxes for 6 hens and plenty of roosts for them. It has the enclosed "house" or nesting/roosting area along with the 6X6 foot enclosed (and predator safe) run. It will have wheels (one of those things we need to do yet) that are removable to move it around the yard periodically. And it is light enough to be moved like a wheel barrow...even by me. Now I just can't wait for the chickens. Here are some pictures to get an idea of what it looks like.

A good Nap!?!?!

At about 3 this morning I woke up because I heard (or felt) a child breathing by my bed. And surprise, it wasn't Maverick. I was a little confused and still asleep so I woke up Shane and told him Aiden was standing next to the bed. Shane got up (thank you, Shane) and started to tell Aiden that he needed to go back to bed. Aiden responded with "But daddy I already took a good nap." I don't know how to teach the difference between sleeping at night and nap-time...but we are obviously VERY confused. He did go back to sleep and actually slept till almost 8. Griffin slept from 9-5 last night which was great. And at 5, while I was feeding him, Maverick got up. He was actually awake and not sleep walking but was a total grump about going back to bed. I did finally get him there. So it was a wierd night of sleep last night.

Changing Colors!

We have been discussing plants a lot lately with the start of Spring. We talked about how they "drink" through their stems and that they need light and water to grow. This was perfect for changing the color of some carnations. We set the "experiment" up a few days ago. And they did change colors over the course of the last 2 days.


So today I had the boys, Aiden mostly, draw what the flowers look like now. And then he dictated a sentence about what he saw for me to write on his paper. We wrote "The flowers changed color because the stem soaked the colored water."

This is Aiden's finished project. He did a great job and is so proud of his work!!
Tomorrow we are starting a "tabletop garden" with a potato, sweet potato and carrots to watch the roots grow down into the water and the stems grow up. I'll post pictures as soon as we get that going!