Potty Humor Gone Too Far!?

It is amazing how topics of conversations change as we have children. The things parents of young children talk about would be shocking to many non-parents. For example, bodily functions...namely pooping. It has become a very important and often talked about event in our house...even over dinner or on the phone with friends. I am constantly thinking about it and trying to keep track of it. Every day I ask myself...

Did Aiden poop? Did Maverick poop? How many times has Griffin pooped?
Where did they poop? Did they wipe (and where)? Did they flush? Did they wash their hands?
Did they get any anywhere (because diapers and pull-ups are NOT leak proof)?

I spend time sitting in the bathroom with Maverick trying to convince him to poop on the potty. We read books about pooping (thanks Uncle George). I pretend to poop to get Maverick to try while sitting on the toilet. We push and grunt and get excited about farting noises echoing in the bowl of the toilet. We have little potty's and big potty's and potty seats to make the big potty have a smaller hole so little butts don't fall in. We reward pooping in the potty with candy...often hershey kisses.

We also consider consistency and Maverick is very interested in the color of his poop so I often must describe it in detail while cleaning him up. He also is always quick to point out as I am wiping his butt that "We don't eat "fill in color" poop." I am glad that he reminds me.

Maverick has also started picking random things up in the yard, bringing them to me and asking..."Is this poop?" My response is usually, "No, but if you think something may be poop...PLEASE do NOT pick it up!!!"

Our newest poop adventure is Griffin. He has not pooped since Thursday. So today is day 6 with no poop. Now we are going to the chiropractor to try to make him poop. I am doing belly massage per Dr. Bloomburg's instruction, and he gets adjusted and acupressure at the chiropractor again today. Dr. Bloomburg told me to expect poop sometime yesterday after his appointment...but, alas, no poop from him...Aiden and Maverick both pooped (I must keep track you know). So today I called the pediatrician's office and was given more instructions. He is supposed to drink 3 oz of pedialyte a day. I tried that...but he hasn't learned how to use a cup well so he just became a red sticky mess and the stuff tastes nasty anyway. And he has never had a bottle and I don't have any "in" slots. AND I am supposed to do rectal stimulation...yes you read that right. I am supposed to use my finger and a washcloth and (in the nurse's words) "gently massage in the anal area." Isn't that just lovely?!?! And you know what...I am so desperate for the kid to just poop that I tried it. Still no luck!

So...I guess I have several more years of keeping track of the pooping habits of several little boys in my house. Shane is on his own on this one. I can't be held responsible. And potty humor will continue to be a big portion of my life. If you aren't a parent you may not understand this...if you are then likely this is a big part of your life too. Either way...healthy pooping habits make for a happier household. When the baby hasn't pooped for nearly a week...NOBODY is happy!

Chicks Dig Me!!

Our new baby chicks are growing by the day. They are getting bigger and bigger and it is hard to imagine that they are only 10 days old. Last night we went down and took some pictures with the boys...Griffin mostly. He got a onesie that says "Chicks Dig Me" so we just had to take pictures. The onesie for him came with a "scrapbook sized onesie" so I had to get a good picture to do the page. In a bigger picture the words on his onesie show up really well.






The sad part is that the onesie is sized up to 9 months and is short sleeved so I was saving it for the summer. He is so big that he will probably never wear it again. It would hardly snap last night.

I wasn't sure how he would do in a metal wash tub with a chicken but he did great. Lots of smiles and no squeezing of the chick. He did make a grumpy face at one point. I don't think it was in response to the chick pooping on his pantleg...but maybe. He did such a great job.





Aiden and Maverick were not dressed for photos (obviously) but I thought I would get a few of them playing with the chicks. Aiden loved holding his very nicely in his lap. The chick was clucking and squaking and making quite a racket but Aiden was very gentle and nice.

Maverick would NOT hold the chick and could not be convinced to try it. He just wanted to "pet" it and did that only with 1 finger. Maybe that is a blessing. He would be the most likely to squeeze it. They are all so cute. Boys and chicks alike!!

Updates on Everyone!

It ahs been a little while since I've posted. Shane was gone for 5 days turkey hunting in Southern Illinois with my dad. They had fun and some near misses. Dad got a turkey but Shane did not. They almost ended up in the line of fire of some other hunters that they accidentally sneaked up on and dad tried "Dave's Insanity Sauce"...only it wasn't BBQ and he shouldn't have covered his sandwich with it. They got home yesterday safe, sound, and only slightly smelly.

Aiden got his new glasses on Friday. It made him look 5 years older it seems. He is adjusting very well and likes wearing them. Right now he is working up to wearing them all day. He wears them most of the time and even when he wants to take them off...he gets them again in an hour or so. I'll post a picture as soon as I get a good one.

Maverick wants glasses too. So he has taken to wearing sunglasses (Lightning McQueen, no less) around the house. He has played video games, eaten meals and done just about everything in those glasses. He doesn't wear them ALL the time though.

Griffin tried a new food on Saturday....butternut squash. He liked it too. So far we are 3 for 4. Oatmeal isn't his favorite now that he has tried soe mother things...but once I can mix some bananas or apples in I have a feeling that will change.

We also got a new pet. This is round 2. Aiden and Maverick wanted fish. I figured, as far as pets go, a fish has to be pretty easy. So a few weekends ago we got 3 little fish to put in our 1 gallon aquarium. They were dead within the hour of bringing them home. I think the fact that the aquarium was foaming (think baking soda and vinegar volcano) may have been a contributing factor. So I got the aquarium going again and when we picked up Aiden's glasses he got to pick out a new fish. The guy that helped us seemed to know something about fish and we picked a different kind. He described this one as "hardy." That is my kind of fish! And we have kept him alive for 3 days now. The boys take turns feeding him in the morning with a lot of assistance from me. And I think I have convinced Maverick that the fish (whose name is Dorothy like Elmo's pet fish) does NOT want fruit loops after digging one out the first day.

So, that is what is going on around here. I'll get some good pictures again soon.

Blow Out Baby!

Griffin has been eating some vegetables every day. He loves them and is doing so well with them. The downside is that he hasn't pooped since Monday. So yesterday (Wednesday) I didn't give him any veggies but only nursed him. OK, I know that veggies are high in fiber and all but compared to breast milk and a totally liquid diet they are really solid...even the pureed kind. So, anyway, this morning I picked Griffin up and was gathering some things from one room to take into another room and I thought "what is that smell?" For some reason, the thought that it may be Griffin did not occur to me. So I kept going. Then I looked down and saw the orange streak on my arm...yes orange. For those who don't have little ones...the veggies come out virtually the same color as they go in. So...sweet potatoes + carrots= ORANGE poop! And it stinks MUCH worse than breast milk poop which is actually not bad at all. He had blown poop up his back to his shoulder blades and out both leg holes of his diaper. I guess it is also important to mention that although the poop changes color with orange veggies...it doesn't really change in consistency...it is really really "loose." It is a lot like bright orange liquid. I think he feels better. He has since blown it all up his back again. Now he is sleeping! All that work wore him out!

In honor of the morning, my friend, Amy, sent me this email...quite funny!


(This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

'Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard..

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys act; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . 'Poupon.'

Springtime Fun!

We spent time outside this morning before Daddy left for turkey camp. It is a beautiful day and we all had a great time together. These are some pictures of the good times!

Milestones!!

Griffin is just getting bigger and bigger. Today I gave him pureed carrots for lunch for the first time. He has had oatmeal and sweet potatoes already. He absolutely loved the carrots. A part of me thought that he might turn his nose up at carrots to start with simply because they are different...but no. He ate quite a bit. Yeah! I hope all new foods go that easily....but I am not holding my breath.

Then after lunch he was playing on the living room floor while I was folding laundry and he almost got up on all fours. He was pulling his fat little legs under him and trying to get on his knees...but he didn't quite make it. It is definitely coming in the hear future though. YIKES!! After that comes crawling. I have to get this house straightened up and keep it clean. He'll be into everything.

Two nights ago he even slept ALL night. He ate and went down at about 9 and didn't get up until 7. Yippee! I actually woke up at 6 in a panic and had to go check and make sure he was still breathing. Last night he got up at his normal middle of the night time. I tried letting him just lay there and go back to sleep but he was getting more agitated each minute. So I had to get him. Maybe tonight he'll sleep all through.

This week all the boys really seem to be growing up. It is a little bittersweet. Aiden is getting glasses and looks like such a little man in them. Maverick is just Maverick and getting bigger and using bigger words and all that he does. And Griffin is growing and getting ready to be mobile. I guess it's true that time flies when you are having fun!

Glasses!

Well, the last few days we have noticed a problem with Aiden's eyes. Mainly his left eye has been going crossed. It gets really bad in the evenings and he says it hurts and is causing him a lot of grief. This morning I called the pediatrician to get a referral to an eye doctor. She wanted to see him first so we had an appointment with her this afternoon. She checked him out and said that this could be caused by a neurologic problem but that he checked out in that area. She referred us to an eye doctor and got us "right in."

So we drove over and waited FOREVER! But we were finally seen and the eye doctor said that he is far sighted. I don't fully understand but a child isn't near or far sighted like an adult. He can see in both areas but is having to work extra hard at both. His eyes are trained to really focus to see far then when that "focusing system" gets tired at the end of the day or he tries to focus on something close (like a book) his focusing system overworks and makes his eyes cross. She did say that it looks like we caught it early and that is good because if it is allowed to go on for while that eye can "give up" and become lazy.

The doctor dialated his eyes to get his prescription right. Then she checked again and gave him a prescription for glasses. We picked out a pair and they will be ready to pick up in a week. He wanted red ones...but we found a nice pair that are "gun metal." He looks so grown up and is so cute.

He was such a big boy the whole day. At the pediatrician he had to do all kinds of things to make sure he was doing good. He had to jump on one foot and flex his muscles and do all kinds of stuff. He listened and followed directions so well. Then at the eye doctor he had to read his letters and numbers and follow directions and then pick which prescription was better and he did. I think the eye doctor was really impressed. He was so tired and just ready to fall asleep I think. He is such a big boy! Maverick and Griffin were along for the ride and no one got naps and we still had an alright day. It was LONG but pretty good. We were in doctors's offices for 5 hours.

So now it is 7:40 and we just got home. I am exhausted and the boys are too. So off to relax until we can crawl into bed and collapse!!!